It seems like left and right not only has women’s dignity been undermined in movies, music, tv shows, advertisement, but now, in the most recent trend is men’s as well! It’s ridiculous what some of prime-time TV shows nowadays feature! Traditional male-female roles are undermined or just simply done away with, and it seems like the the newest target is true masculinity. Rather than celebrate the pivotal and sacred differences between men and women, the man is the butt of most of the jokes! Something is seriously wrong here, and we really need to not only be aware of this, but fight this.
Guest post by Ashley
Here is an amazing article that my friend, Ashley, who works for the Love & Fidelity Network, wrote and had published by the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute on the subject.
The Crusade to Claim Back Chivalry: Guys Speak
Who says guys can’t communicate?
A recent poll suggests that guys are quite ready to give their opinion, if we girls will only listen. Unfortunately, when the opinion refers to the almost extinct idea of “chivalry” and the now too popular presence of radical feminism, many women are quick to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to men.
We rarely hear about chivalry anymore. Yet many women spend their days lamenting its loss and wondering what went wrong as they face broken relationships and marriages, or the invariable outcry– “Where have all the good guys gone?”
According to a poll taken on guys across the country and abroad, 93% of guys say that chivalry has decreased in current times, and 84% of that group attributes this decline primarily or at least partly influenced by the rise of radical feminism in society. One man stated that feminism “devalued chivalry and made it seem sexist.” Another man eloquently proposed that the “‘I don’t need a man’ culture has crippled chivalry in the public sphere.” A third man said that “it is now difficult to show true chivalry to some women who misrepresent some honest efforts to value women by portraying chivalry as subordinating, disrespecting, and devaluing women.”
It seems that the men are confused and left wondering how to proceed. They are lodged between a rock and a hard place. If they try to be chivalrous, they come across as sexist to the feminists, yet if they do not and treat us the way the feminists say we want to be treated, as equals, then women will get no extra respect. If guys try to stand up to feminists, they will be labeled as “chauvinistic pigs” or “patriarchal oppressors.”
Guys say “when women start to act like men themselves, … this reduces chivalry shown by most men.” Without extra respect, women are treated in the same rough and tumble ways in which guys treat each other. Guys have arm wrestling matches with each other for fun. They slap each other on the back and wrestle and get into fights and try to compete with one another. For fun.
So I ask the radical feminists, the members of NOW, the leaders of Women’s Studies classes and groups across the country– if we want to be treated as equals, is this the kind of treatment we are asking for? What options has we left them with? What are these men to do?
I propose to the ladies who do not want to be treated in this way, those conservative girls who secretly make up the majority of our society, to take a stand and try to help reclaim chivalry for the guys’ sake, and for their own sake. Interestingly, the majority of guys agreed that chivalry would be easier to practice if girls would acknowledge it and show appreciation when it is expressed towards them: “Women can point out men who are behaving chivalrously and compliment that behavior. In each ‘chauvinistic pig’ is a D’Artanian waiting to break out. Help him!” Guys say they would behave more chivalrously if women would thank them and appreciate them for being that way: “Let me know that (you) are thankful of my respect and appreciate my efforts.
The radical leftist women would cry out in horror at the prospect of thanking a guy for standing up to give her his seat, or opening her door. Rather, they fight for the complete freedom of women from oppression– it is now within our reach as women quickly rise to positions of power and status in society! These radical feminist women are champions of independence, equality, ambition! But are they?
Being ambitious and competitive in our own right does not mean crushing the competition into oblivion. That’s called playing dirty. If men are our competition in our business lives, this does not mean that we as women have to hate them and belittle them in our personal lives. Rather, we should be grateful for the challenges at work and rise to meet it and surpass it maybe! But we have to play fair. And in our personal lives, we should see these guys as an invaluable source of comfort, support, and friendship.
So be an independent woman. Get the great job, run clubs and businesses, be ambitious and live your dreams! But do not forget that part of what it takes to be a good leader is to know when to follow– to listen to the feedback from our teammates and colleagues, our friends and those close to us. Many of these people are men. This is their feedback.
In the end, we women are stabbing ourselves in the back by discouraging chivalrous behavior in men. Chivalrous behavior promotes respect and gentle treatment of women! In the poll, the question “What is chivalry?”, 3 out of 4 men responded that it had to do with respect, honor, and courtesy towards women. One man spoke openly: “Chivalry is the notion that a man has the duty to respect and serve women.” Another man affirmed: “It is a set of manners and respect a man should show to a woman as a demonstration of respect towards her.” Or again, “It is doing respectful deeds for ladies.” Another guy said women “need to understand that chivalry isn’t being put down like feminism would like you to believe, but rather is a way a woman can command respect from a man.” Many guys described respectful deeds such as the traditional gestures like opening doors, getting women a drink, etc. But so often, these same men lamented that their efforts to be chivalrous were met with scorn.
Why has opening a door for a women become a bad thing? Why is this idea of chivalry discouraged?
Radical feminist groups are quick to call it “sexist” and “oppressive”. In reality, gentle treatment and respect is what we all desire. Here’s a thought: women often get more when they surrender control– what might work in the workplace, will not in your personal life or on a date.
One man said “If women date unchivalrous men, then we see that we don’t need to be chivalrous to be with a girl. Also, women should be conscious of how they act– if they don’t act like a lady, they won’t be treated like one.”
Interestingly, most of the men said that it would be easier to behave chivalrously if women would demand it in the respect she has for herself and expect it – “Expect men to rise to the occasion.”
Maybe, girls, if we stopped playing the victim card long enough to take a good look at reality, we would see that by helping men to bring back chivalry, we could encourage more fulfilling relationships, better business partnerships, and longer marriages. The long string of empty hook-ups that women have chosen as chivalry declines and men try less and less to pursue us, support us, and respect us, leaves us broken and depressed.
Dr. Grossman, campus psychologist Senior Fellow at the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute in VA, talks candidly about the medical hazards that befall women when they participate in the rampant hook-up culture in society today. Her latest work just produced by the Luce Institute, Sense and Sexuality, cuts right to the heart of the matter with crucial live-saving facts and information for women about the hook-up culture. Hard science portrays that hook-ups are bad for women, both psychologically and physically, and that a stable relationship– with a chivalrous man maybe?– is more beneficial. Her message is one that will never be heard at a NOW convention.
So if chivalry is respect for women, it is necessary that we as women help men claim back chivalry from the feminists who are robbing us of it. Guys do communicate, and their message is clear: “Remind men why they fall in love with women”. Guys are tired of the victim attitude which women adopt in the name of saving themselves from some sort of patriarchal oppression. Women are tired of unfulfilling hook-ups, being treated disrespectfully, or ignored. For our good, and the good of our men, let us work to bring back chivalry. The guys are begging us– “It’d be great to bring sexy back!” We need to respond.